Beauty and the Tiny Beast – Legalization vs. Jeff Sessions…

“Good people don’t smoke marijuana.” – Jeff Sessions.

But apparently good people DO support and partake in discrimination due to race, gender, sexuality, religion, and etc.

Screen Shot 2018-03-02 at 4.29.59 PM.png
U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions

Earlier this year, US Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced that he was rescinding The Cole Memo (

What is The Cole Memo? No, it’s not the world’s most boring spy novel. It’s a Department of Justice guideline put in place during the Obama era. It basically says that the Federal government wouldn’t interfere with individual States about their medicinal and recreational marijuana laws – save for some specifics that are fairly understandable.

Screen Shot 2018-03-02 at 4.30.57 PM

This link discusses and explains The Cole Memo in more detail (

SPOILER WARNING: A guy named Cole wrote a memo.

So what does this mean? It seems to set the stage for the Federal government (including Federal prosecutors) to raid any or all dispensaries and increase legal action against them – regardless of how legal their respective state says it is.

It also adds more difficulty to California’s new recreational marijuana business. Since Sessions rescinded the Memo (The Rescinded Memo is the Dan Brown novel I’m most looking forward to), banks and credit unions have even less incentive to help out marijuana businesses (

That means there’s A LOT of cash about to flow with nowhere to really flow it. The fact that we are mostly in a cash-less society, and many bills and expenses need a bank or credit card in order to be paid, this puts a giant dent in a smooth money making industry that brings in a lot of tax money.

So who is Jeff Sessions?

Well, he recently tried to blame a large portion of the opioid crises on marijuana (

Screen Shot 2018-03-02 at 4.31.41 PM

He says that weed is a gateway drug.

Yeah, a gateway to happiness, health, an intense appreciation for random old music, and an increase in Doritos’ stock market value.

Marijuana doesn’t lead you to opioids. It leads you to the fucking couch. In fact, marijuana could HELP some people get OFF opioids because of its painkilling attributes.

Also, Jeff Sessions is the one Keebler elf that hates cookies. He’s like Gollum, but instead of his precious being one ring, it’s one race. He’s a number 2 pencil that’s always left at home on test day. He’s leftover bathwater. He’s mansplaining in tiny human form. He’s like someone constantly feverishly making shoes for people that don’t have feet. Jeff Sessions stole all my Lucky Charms cereal. He’s a large skin tag. He’s that one nipple that no one wants to look at. He’s like an old man cannibal villain from a random 80s comedy. He’s an ingrown hair that gets infected. He’s Trump’s vestigial tail…

But some States are fighting back in wonderful ways!

After rescinding the memo (“Memo Rescindtion” is the worst Harry Potter spell), Colorado Senator Cory Gardner retaliated by freezing the Trump administration’s Justice Department nominees. So far, he has prevented 11 nominations from going to the Senate floor vote (

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear, I don’t know, they wear what politicians wear. A suit? I don’t know, maybe sweatpants on the weekend? I’m not his fucking closet.

Also, along with California going full-legalization, San Francisco has taken it one giant step further (

SF is retroactively applying California’s legalization laws to past cases. This will expunge or reduce misdemeanor and felony convictions that go back decades. Thousands of people can benefit from this. Their convictions would make it difficult or even impossible to get jobs or receive some government benefits, so this is a great thing for them. A chance to fresh start their life.

This is huge. And it’s a big step in the right direction. Every city in every legalized state should follow San Francisco’s lead.

The majority of marijuana convictions are archaic and, in many instances, blatantly racist.

And this is a fantastic way to slap Sessions, and the entire Trump regime across the face.

Screen Shot 2018-03-02 at 4.33.01 PM.png
Candid Photograph of Jeff Sessions meeting with President Trump

I think this war is just beginning. But if more Senators like Cory Gardner and more cities like San Francisco step up and fight, marijuana legalization will eventually win out in the end.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s