As I have mentioned in many articles already, marijuana can have numerous beneficial health and medical benefits. So I’m going to look at a handful of fictional characters and see how medicinal marijuana might help them..

Gizmo (From GREMLINS)

Okay, so poor Gizmo is perpetually stressed and paranoid and anxiety-laden.

He constantly has to watch out for bright lights and water. And his main ulcer-inducing worry is that he might produce an immense horde of vicious, blood-thirsty, murderous, shenanigans-addicted gremlins. And if the Hellish scenario plays out like he fears, THEN he has to be scared of those gremlins (basically his children) killing him and anyone else in the near vicinity. The poor guy barely ever gets a fully calm moment.

Like I’ve written about in the past, one of the main medicinal applications of marijuana is for anxiety-based afflictions. Here’s a discussion that goes more indepth specifically about the anxiety-helping aspects of marijuana (https://www.leafscience.com/2017/05/10/marijuana-and-anxiety-a-guide/).

I feel like if Gizmo could get himself a prescription for medicinal marijuana, he would save himself a whole lot of mental anguish. But, he needs to make sure that he doesn’t get the munchies too bad. So maybe he should refrain from medicating late in the day. He wouldn’t want to risk eating after midnight. But seriously, isn’t it technically ALWAYS after midnight. Whatever time of day it is, it’s AFTER midnight. That’s quite stressful. Better increase his prescription, just in case.

Biff Tannen (From BACK TO THE FUTURE – especially Part 2)

BACK TO THE FUTURE 2 was basically predicting Trump’s America, and just like Trump, Biff Tannen seems to have a Narcissistic personality.

Biff is so full of himself, it’s surprising that he’s not inside fucking out. His IQ is probably in double digits, but he thinks he’s smart. Everything bad that happens is always someone else’s fault. He never takes responsibility for anything. He bullies everyone. And in Part 2, when he acquires lots of money and power, he acts like he’s above the law. Apparently, he has all the traits that would make for a “successful” president.

Could medicinal marijuana help? Well, there are some instances where pot can help alleviate some aspects of narcissism (https://www.google.ca/amp/s/downtherabbitholeblog.org/2015/09/01/cannabis-and-npd/amp/).

It can help the brain focus on who you really are and the way you’re acting. It can help you become more aware of the Super Ego – which could (hopefully) help you realize how much of a dick you’re being.

So if you’ve got too much dick in you, try marijuana.

Darth Vader (Seriously? You know where he’s from…)

Okay, so Darth Vader is ANGRY. I mean, he’s basically trying to genocide an entire galaxy.

I mean, some of his anger is justified. His mother was murdered, he had a hand in the death of the woman he loved, his best friend and mentor sliced all his limbs off, his children were stolen from him, his son almost made out with his own sister and THEN refused to join the family business, and his empire is crumbling around him. But he is NOT dealing with his anger in a positive way. He seriously needs to force choke a joint and calm down. I mean, the dude’s mask is already designed for vaping!

But can marijuana help with anger? Well, this article (http://www.stonerdays.com/cannabis-and-anger/) discusses how pot can help to combat extreme fits of rage. Also, when I was growing up, we had one friend who was always angry. About everything. But when we were older, and he started smoking pot, he would completely mellow out and become entirely bearable.

So Vader needs to get himself a prescription and stop exploding planets. Maybe seek therapy too. He’s also a prime candidate to collect disability. Relax, retire, rebel.

(HONOURABLE MENTION)

Jackie Chan (EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER)

There are 206 bones in the human (adult body). There’s a good chance that Chan has broken all of them…

He’s broken so many bones that he probably needs to borrow other people’s bones just so he has something to break these days. Here’s a list of some of his injuries (https://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/227-movies-at-the-theater/65813004).

With that many injuries and some near-death experiences over the decades, there’s a good chance that he has (or will have) lots of residual aches and pains. And the fact that he’s still going strong with the movie-making, it’s probably time for him and all his characters to start medicating.

Another one of the main benefits of medicinal marijuana is its ability to help alleviate current and chronic pain (https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/news/20100830/marijuana-relieves-chronic-pain-research-show).

So get this guy a prescription, and we’ll be able to get another twenty to thirty years of bone-crunching insanity.