Mary Jane’s Last Stand – Part 3: MJ vs. Obesity

Speaking of “figure it out”, OBESITY (because it can affect your figure, get it?)!

More than 2 in 3 adults in the U.S. are considered to be overweight or obese… (

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“Wall•E” 2008

TWO IN THREE PEOPLE! (which WOULD make a good name for a bad porn film).

To be fair, that statistic isn’t that shocking coming from the country that created a chicken wrapped chicken burger. Who needs a bun when you can just use two more pieces of greasy chicken. Who needs condiments when you can just pour the crumb-filled cooking fat from the deep fryer all over your lunch. Maybe to drink, you can have a shot of grease… with a grease chaser of course. And not even progressive grease like GREASE 2. But problematic grease like GREASE.

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Well, according to the American Journal of Medicine (it’s a journal, NOT a diary!), pot smokers are skinnier than the average person and have a healthier metabolism and reaction to sugars ( Yes, most of the time, the consumers of pot actually have a higher caloric intake due to the “munchies”, but the way that some strains of marijuana help the body react to the calories and sugars, actually helps them remain skinnier than the people that just roll up a drumstick and smoke it or whatever new coupon from KFC is promoting now. And even though there is an appetite-inducing aspect to THC, there was a recent animal study that showed, when fed a high fat diet, THC could REDUCE the weight gain ( Personally, I would like to see a study on how people get these animals to roll a joint and smoke it. But maybe that’s just me.

Also, there are certain types of marijuana that have specific terpenes or cannabinoids that can suppress your appetite. THCV is a cannabinoid that has been found to temporarily suppress appetite instead of cause “the munchies”. It can also help to boost the metabolism, which for all of us that are way past our glorious 20s, is a very good thing. The one thing that age makes most of us lose faster than our hair, is our metabolism. For further sciencing (regarding the THCV, not my hair loss), check here:

As with all aspects of using marijuana for medical purposes, you need to do your research and talk to qualified individuals. Be honest about what it is you’re looking for and what you need to get from it so as to find the perfect strain or combination of strains that works best for you. I’m not saying that smoking marijuana should replace your exercise program. Raising your arm to your mouth a few times in a row isn’t gonna give you that much-desired six pack. As with most weight-loss attempts, a good mixture of proper diet and exercise is always important. But instead of spending a bunch of money on some strange “miracle drug” with an exotic name that ships out of some weird van in an obscure country, you could try something that is natural and healthy and proven to work.

Also, speaking (more) of food (or at least one of the end results/destinations of food), marijuana can help treat inflammatory bowel diseases such as Crohn’s and Colitis (

Now, in case you weren’t aware, the stomach (and digestive system) is a major part of our overall well-being. It helps to control our physical, emotional, and mental health. A bad stomach can ruin a day. So people with Crohn’s or Colitis or even IBS can have an entire bad life, unless they find relief. The above linked article shows how marijuana can improve our plumbing and help make some of those bad days good again.

Also, the usually accompanying pain/cramps that come along with numerous stomach issues can also be relieved due to the pain-relief properties of marijuana.

And when you’re dipping your chicken fried chicken into grease-flavoured Ranch dressing, odds are you will have a whole other series of stomach issues.

Anyone with a lifetime of stomach issues can probably attest to the fact that your appetite is affected. Or, at least, your desire to eat is lessened. When any and/or everything has the chance to make you sick and pained, it makes you gun-shy in the food sense of things. And just like cancer patients going through chemo treatments are too nauseous to eat, stomach-disorder sufferers are too scared to eat. In both situations, the aforementioned “munchies” that some strains of marijuana  can produce become beneficial because they bring back “hunger” (physically and psychologically). And, as mentioned above, they can bring back that much-needed appetite without risking the addition of extra pounds.

So maybe we should consider making it legal on a Federal level and then put  it on the Extra Value Meal menus instead of liquid suicide like this:

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